Friday, January 28, 2011


I was once described using this word. I'd responded to a friend's political facebook note. I had disagreed. After he used this word I told him that if he was going to kindle a political fire (on facebook) he'd better stop expecting love notes in response.

And today I've got that old vitriol feeling:

Dear Park Slope Dog owners,

First of all, look alive, chumps. With this snow, the sidewalks are roughly 9 inches wide, so maybe letting your dog pull out that leash ten feet in front of you so you are completely incapable of controlling them might make things a little difficult for EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD.
Second of all, pick up after your stupid animals. Despite what appears to be a commonly held folk belief, the snow will not absorb it. Even if your dog poops on snow, you still have to pick it up.
Third, and possibly most importantly, if your dog lunges at someone, just say, I'M SORRY. Don't explain your dog's reasoning to that shocked runner who just looked up to see your bear-sized dog lunge at her, foaming mouth agape, causing said runner to swear and jump back into an ankle deep puddle. This runner is not your dog's obedience instructor, and couldn't care less what set him off, or if he was, in fact, just jumping up to give the runner an encouraging hi-5. JUST SAY, "oh, hey, I'm sorry about that." THAT'S IT.

Best regards,


  1. THIS. A thousand times this. What is up with Park Slope dog owners?!

  2. considering a move?
    the dogs in raleigh never poop and always keep to themselves.

  3. Maybe you could print this on business cards and hand them out as you pass.