Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Heat Lightning

It's getting hot in New York. I mean, it's July. It's getting humid, too. It was 60% yesterday.

Here's the thing. I was born on September 27th, after a significant heat wave in Los Angeles.

This is important because I have this feeling that, much like a super-hero, I absorbed all that heat, and turned it into pure power. Heat-Lightning.

One of the many benefits of this is my ability to withstand high temperatures. It's not like I don't notice, it's just that I don't mind as much. I remember when James and I were in Venice, we didn't have an air conditioner in our hotel room. I don't know how hot it actually was, because whenever we asked people gave us the temperature in Celsius (and I was like, okay, but what is it in real degrees?) It was humid. James couldn't sleep. He was a mad person, rolling around all night, I guess trying to find a position that would be cooler. I tried to impart some of my innate heat knowledge, and told him that he couldn't fight it, that he just had to let the heat pass over him. He had to think of himself as part of the heat.

It was late at night and he was really hot, so there wasn't a lot of interest in my heat philosophy.

A few days later we found the a/c. It was a small unit, near the ceiling. Those Italians.

I just turned my a/c on last night, and only because we had a guest. Because I realize my philosophy is simply that: my philosophy. Not everyone can be a disciple. But, as a near heat superhero, here's my advice:

1. Don't wear snug clothing. Really ever, but especially in the summer, unless you want to feel like a sausage squeezed into its casing. No matter how good it looks, take my word for it, it's not worth it.

2. Buy popsicles. Have them at home. A big box, but don't let that stop you from buying them while you're out. Eat them regularly.

3. Only eat ice cream outside. Eating ice cream inside (especially inside with air conditioning) is a waste.

4. Try not to be late. Walking in the noon-time heat is one thing, hurrying is quite another.

5. If you have to take the subway, and find yourself waiting for the 5 at Atlantic, and you look up from your book as a bead of sweat falls onto the words, and think this is unbearable, you're not a traitor to the philosophy, it's just that you happen to be waiting in Dante's 9th circle of hell.

Photos from this weekend. Outside of Blue Marble. I'm eating a black raspberry cone. It was delicious and also lowered my core body temperature. That's what you call two birds, one stone.


  1. i disagree with your reasoning behind your high tolerance for heat. It is because growing up your mother never, no never turned the air on. except if it was a sunday AND it was well over 100 AND there was company.

  2. I like this. I definitely share your super-power (if such things can be shared)!

  3. I like the first picture of you eating ice cream because the little family behind you seem so happy.