Tuesday, September 20, 2011

File This Under: Things I Should Have Seen Coming

Update: I found a book. I picked up Winter's Bone, which is just as depressing as I figured it was going to be. I'm going with one of your suggestions next.

New Information: Do you have an email address you don't check often? I do. It's more "professional" than valerietown, so I use it in more "professional" situations. I kind of hate it. I don't check it that often. I once missed an audition that I wanted to go to so badly that reading the email the evening after the auditions felt like a punch in the stomach. I just missed a scripts in progress reading last week. I blame the very idea of "professionalism" for this.

The Apartment: Old Smokey's at it again. My downstairs neighbor. I guess I didn't notice how much I just tolerated it this summer, or, for some reason, now my smeller's kicked into high gear again, or she's just smoking more than usual, but now I'm on edge all the time.

I spoke to her - again - two days ago, and now I have to again. It's that part that bothers me most, just this obligation of confrontation. I have to psych myself up for it. She's perfectly nice about it - which I suppose is pretty easy when you're just nodding at someone and pretending like you're listening to what they're saying - but it just takes a fair amount of psychic effort.

I just rarely run into things that politely calling someone out won't fix. Litterers, people speaking loudly in libraries--that kind of thing. Once you let people know they aren't invisible, usually they sort of shape up.

My plan is to just get down to brass tacks with her. I'm done doing this whole, oh, maybe you just aren't aware routine. Tomorrow, it's going to be more of a listen sister, we have to work this out.

And if that doesn't work, I don't know. I guess I'll have to get some dumbbells to start dropping whenever she lights up.

I know it seems like I'm a little fixated, but I'm home a lot, and she, apparently, is home a lot, and there is just lots of time to think about my dry throat and imaginary smoke curls invading my apartment.

For you: James just wrote a really wonderful blog post about the frustration of the sacrifice/selfishness of art.

And also this: I'm Comic Sans, A-hole. I'll tell you right now, it has a lot of swears. So don't read it. But it makes me laugh every, every time.

The title: Of this blog is stolen, whole cloth, from James's poem.

Other things that are stolen: A joke James stole from me last week. About how The Help could be renamed The Blind Side II, and no one would notice the difference. Joke's on him; I stole it from a friend from school.

Thing I did this summer: Dropped a class because the professor used all her fingers when making air quotes. Do this now, so you can see how absurd it looks.


  1. I laughed out loud when I did the all-fingered air quote.

    I have 4 Old Smokeys in the very near vicinity. I want to cry my eyes out on cool summer evenings when we have the windows open (which is nearly every summer evening.)

  2. Comic Sans = HA HA HA!!!

    And yeah, that finger quotes with all fingers thing? That's really awkward.

  3. I felt incredibly inappropriate when I did the air quotes with all fingers. I couldn't help but look like I was groping some imaginary person in front of me. This is a very good reason to drop the class, Val.

  4. The bear hands (as I like to call them) turned out to be symptomatic of a LOT of other problems with that professor. Which my classmates found out during the course of the class, the poor saps.
    I guess I just know people.

  5. Hey lady, you can have google forward your "professional" emails to your personal email address and send replies using your "professional" email from your personal account. Let me know if you want instructions!

  6. hahahaaa...all-fingered air quotes. Are you sure that's what she was doing? Maybe a bear was always present or somehow affiliated to these statements. (or made the statements?)

    Crap, i just read the comments and see you already made a bear quote joke. Oh well, i'm publishing this comment anyway and just know i typed it BEFORE reading yours.