Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Relevant, Not Relevant



Not all Olympic events translate into real life.  A list, for reference:

Relevant
Sprints.  For evading danger like falling trees and fast moving mobs.

Not Relevant
Synchronized diving.  Doing something at the same time as someone?  Big deal.

Relevant
Javelin throw.  Think lion on the loose.  Do you want to be close up or far, far away?

Not Relevant
Waterpolo.  There's never any need to be that brutal, unless you hang with a very rough crowd.

Relevant
Rowing.  I mean, we live in a world with boats; that's a skill you could use.

Not Relevant
the Marathon.  I love a distance run, but I can't think of any circumstances where you'll need to run twenty six miles*.

Relevant
Fencing.  For Renaissance Faires.

Not Relevant
Speed Walking.  In the real world, you're allowed to run.

Relevant
Triple Jump.  I can think of a lot of things that I'd like to avoid walking through.  That could come in very handy.

Not Relevant
Long Jump.  Who jumps, knowing that they're going to fall on their butt at the end of it?

Relevant
Balance Beam.  Ever heard of a fence rail?

Not Relevant
Floor in Gymnastics.  There's never going to come a time where you have to tumble your way across a floor.  You can just walk.  Unless there's lava.  See: triple jump.

Relevant
PENTATHLON.  Fencing, shooting, running, swimming, riding a strange horse.  Skills needed to fight your way out from behind enemy lines.  The template used when creating the modern pentathlon.  The very epitome of relevance.  Sadly, the pentathlon is no longer contested, for which we are all the poorer for.
UPDATE: I read some false information.  The Pentathlon is contested in the London games.  Thank goodness.


*Andy actually had an explanation for this.  Maybe you're being chased by an electric car that has to charge up every 26 miles.  Which, I suppose, could happen.

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