Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Apple Trees and Anti-Christmas








I feel like I routinely do terrible things, knowing they're terrible, but somehow am unable to stop myself.  I was holding Edie on this dark afternoon, looking at the teeny tiny Christmas tree we got her to keep in her room (we don't get a tree, because I'm a grouch), and holding onto the top of the dresser, using my hand to hold most--if not all--of her weight, thus creating the kind of torque you would usually use to break a stick in half.  Even as I was doing it I thought, oh, this doesn't seem wise, but I kept doing it, and now I can barely move my arm.

I know it's not technically winter, but, it is, for all intents and purposes.  It's got to be Thanksgiving that brings fall to its effective end.  The days are short these days, but my Christmas shopping is done, so we spend our evenings chilling out and occasionally taking Edie for walks to our town center where she gasps up at the lights strung on trees and says, "Look at that!"

Which feels like a nice way to spend December.  Every year I try to focus on really getting something out of Christmas, which feels to me like trying to remember a dream: the harder I try, the more success evades me.  So, now my approach is anti-Christmas in pursuit of Christmas.  I choose, very carefully, the seasonal things I want to fill my days with.  I will make a wreath at my church's activity tomorrow, I won't bake any cookies to take or take any home with me.  I will go to the Christmas in Salem tour of historic homes, but I probably won't get a tree we won't be around on Christmas day to enjoy.  That kind of thing.

I suppose I will finish my book for book club, Skipping Christmas, which, I'm about 3/4 of the way through and is so stupid I could just die.  But, I failed to finish a lot of books for this book club, and I no longer have a thesis as a viable excuse, and, really, I am almost done.  So, okay, I will finish it.  But I won't enjoy it.

2 comments:

  1. I wish I kept a list of stupid books that I finished anyway.

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  2. um, I just got derailed by Skipping Christmas. I've never read it, but I can't possibly imagine any life in which you would actually even start that book. Maybe you shouldn't finish it. I think you already knows how it ends. They all end the same.

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